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Journey Into Madness
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My Journey Into Madness
 
During my 30s I began experiencing bouts with Depression.  I didn't know at the time but I was starting down the road to madness.  I would later be diagnoised with Bi Polar disorder, but in the beginning it was just a lousy feeling that seemed to come from nowhere and for no real reason.  When I first started having these feelings  I could easily shake it off and get back on track but as the years progressed the  harder it was.  I would become manic which gave me lots of energy while my creative juices would flow all over the place.  I could do anything during these times, the sky was the limit and I could even amaze myself at the things I could do, but I could also do some very stupid things without thinking.  Then the bottom would fall out and depression would hit and I would be in the bed for days if not weeks, sleeping then crying for no reason and seeing everything as the end of life as I knew it.  I would look all around me knowing I had everything I had ever wanted in my life, the home I wanted, filled with beautiful things, but still when this would hit me I could not see the reason to even breath.  During this period of my life I put on and took off so much weight I  had clothing in 10 different sizes in my closet so I would be prepared. When finally I was told what was wrong with me I was in my early 40s .  I found out that Bi Polar is a  chemicle disorder of the brain, it gives you too much of something then not enough causing the ups and downs, and it usually runs in families. Medications can help to keeps your brain balanced, but usually takes hit and miss experimentation from your doctor, then after a time it stops working and you have to change medications again.  So after years of riding the roller coaster I was able to get off and live life again.  Sometimes the medicaitons need regulating, and I will forever have this and have to deal with it but help is there for those who need it. 
 
Please if you think you have Bi Polar Disorder read up on the condition and treatment as most all of the medications have negative side effects such as weight gain, hair loss and loss of sexual desires, all of which will effect your life.
 
 Here is a Free downloadable booklet on Bi Polar Disorder http://www.nimh.nih.gov/Publicat/bipolar.cfm